works in progress and I include myself in that
I used to be a LINEAR MAKER.
Not what I made, HEAVEN FORFEND, but how I worked: I would START ONE PIECE AND FINISH IT. That was the rule. I was still on the Employee/Employer Model and I was both of those and I must work or be in trouble.
Yikes.
The idea of having unfinished things around caused me anxiety. Connected, I feel, to trying to wrangle and harness my adhd brain. I don't blame me for that. I made a lot of messes and caused a lot of trouble from those messes in yon olden days. But now I find the more I trust myself, the more expansive I want to be. It works for me. Remember, I wrote it on my wall? E X P A N S I V E. It makes me a more joyful maker. JOY. Fuck yeah, joy.
(I like how I just casually tossed out 'the more I trust myself' as if it was easy. ha ha ha. Simple, yes. Easy, no. But also VERY POSSIBLE, aka I believe wholeheartedly that you can also do it, if that's a thing you're searching for.)
Right now
I want to have many pieces in progress at once. In different states. Sometimes I dig through a pile of fabric and find half a coat. Oh look! Thank you, past helen. It's like finding great chili in the back of the freezer. Energy I sent from the past is available to me now! What could be better? Whatever mood I'm in at the moment (not the day! THIS MINUTE) there is something around to meet that energy level. Bonus: it decreases the constant pressure of having to start everything from nothing. This might be called self care? Of course I would figure this out as other people my age prepare to retire from real jobs. Ehhh. Oh well. That doesn't even put a tiny dent in my joy. This might be the part in the buddhist parable where I'm dangling off the cliff, tigers all around, about to reach for the strawberry, except I don't really like strawberries so I always picture a slice of cake. Mmmmm, cake.
