I finally did it. I made preserved lemons. It's ridiculously simple, and requires less energy than wondering if the lemons you bought are quietly growing mold over there in your fruit bowl.
I chopped off their ends, cut them partway through, stuffed them with salt and sugar, crammed them into a jar, then waited. Really. That's it. The waiting was the tough part. Though I did use a recipe, since it would be embarrassing if I survived a pandemic only to kill myself with botulism or summat. Some call for all salt, some a salt-sugar combo, and that's what I chose, using the Serious Eats recipe.
Staying in the house for a year and only venturing out, masked, to pick up groceries at the curb every 3 weeks was just the impetus I needed to finally try these. THEY DO NOT DISAPPOINT. Here are mine freshly, crammed on the left, and then a month or so later. The rinds get translucent and kind of glow. They're pretty. To use them I grab a chunk out, rinse it, mince it up and toss it in just about anything. Sometimes I don't rinse them if I want them to salt up a whole big batch of something. That feels a bit risky, but what can I say, I'm living on the edge over here. It's still a bright and lemony flavor, but also with a nice depth and richness you don't get from fresh. Also, clown? What clown? I do not know what you are talking about.